File No. 3: Masturbation Explanation

18 Nov

We all do it. Some of us started at an earlier age than others. Some of us like to talk about it, while others regard it as one of the most private acts a person could engage in. Personally, I enjoy masturbating in the company of my partner. Knowing that my pleasing myself turns him on always turns me on. When we’re not together I prefer to masturbate thinking about him or looking at some of our rather x-rated photos and videos. For me, masturbation is just a continuation of my sex life. It is centered around and focused on him because he is the only one I want. I find a lot of women feel this way.

You know who doesn’t feel this way? Men. For most of them, masturbating isn’t about perpetuating romantic feelings for their partners. It isn’t about remembering that last steamy encounter or even fantasizing about a new one. Masturbating is where they go to fantasize about whom they can’t have. It’s how they deal with the “you can look but you can’t touch” situations.

While I understand this, it still … bothers me sometimes. What bothers me is that it feels like as soon as I leave the house Michael and I share he jumps on his joystick and has a play. Fine, everybody needs their privacy, I get it. But seriously? Every time I leave the house? Naturally, this causes me to second guess my relationship, his wanting me and et cetera. He constantly reminds me that he does want me, that he’s happy with me. Still, I’m always left thinking: if you want me and only me, if you’re completely happy as you insinuate, why is there the need to jerk off to the picture of some woman you’ll never be able to touch?

I don’t have the answers. I wish I did because it would keep me from going crazy.

What’s your experience? How do you feel about your guy having a go?
Guys, how do you feel?


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