Tag Archives: pickup lines

File No. 4: Men Speak Out on Top 10 Worst Pickup Lines

20 Nov

Askmen.com, that great and insightful site into the male sex psyche has been known to unveil top 10 lists from time to time on an array of subjects that matter to men. True to style, AM posed a question to their readers to brandish them with the worst pickup lines they (or their friends) have ever used. The result? Well, just be glad you never came across these men in a bar.

As seen on askmen.com, 10 of the worst pickup lines ever:

1o.  Are those space pants? Because your ass is out of this world.
Flirt Files Says: Really, men? This might have worked during the Space Race, but not today.

9. Your dad must be a terrorist because he made a bomb.
Flirt Files Says: Ha. You’ve gotta hand it to this guy, at least he’s apprised of current events …

8. If I was a fly, I’d land you first, because you’re the shit.
Flirt Files Says: Um, gee thanks. Top billing on the poo ranking scale is sure to get you laid. Fail.

7. Excuse me, could you give me directions … to your house?
Flirt Files Says: Americans are regarded in Europe for being forward. It’s one of the things that makes dating in the states differently from dating in Europe. But this, this is a bit too forward. Cute? Maybe if a drunk Frat boy said it.

6. Oh, excuse me, but I think you dropped something. (Then hand her a bit of paper with your number on it.)
Flirt Files Says: Poor effort. Don’t cop out! Flirt!

5. My penis just died. Can I bury it in your ass?
Flirt Files Says: Owee! This is only the halfway marker? How can they get any worse than this? We think this person’s penis died from non-use. He’s never gotten any using lines like that!

4. Hey you look really fun, I had to come talk to you?
Flirt Files Says: Fun? Fun?! Like a bouncehouse or a super soaker or an endearing clown with a notorious red nose? How does one look fun?

3. (After beckoning someone with the “come here” motion.) I just wanted to see if I could make you come with one finger.
Flirt Files Says: He obviously needs a lesson in fingering.

2. Does this smell like chloroform to you?
Flirt Files Says: Does this look like me calling the cops to you?

1. My love for you is like diarrhea. I just can’t keep it in.
Flirt Files Says: Gross. Just gross. We know that everyone does it and we’re fine with everyone doing it, but just because it’s a natural bodily function does not mean you can use it to hit on me.  How many drinks has this guy had doused in his face?